quickly approach look back on Lilly’s three month mark [three months…somehow it seems so much shorter and yet so much longer all at the same time!], I’ve been reflecting on some tips/advice for making it through this time. Every child enters a family differently and every family situation is different. This is what I have learned from our situation. I hope you find it encouraging..
*It’s ok to have a “messy” house. Because 1. It’s probably not as messy as you think. And 2. No one is looking at the house. They are way too enraptured by that gorgeous little bundle of new baby perfection.
*Let other people help you. If people offer to help out, you can either A. Give them a job/chore that you desperately wish would get done. B. Have them hold baby so that you can accomplish said chore. Whichever of these methods works for you, let people help!
*Ask for help! Recognizing when you’re at the end of yourself takes strength and courage. Your body is recovering from a traumatic event, your hormones are recovering from
pregnancy a traumatic experience, and to top it off, you are far from getting the “recommended” amount of sleep. You are not weak when you ask for help.
*Soak in the moments. That new baby look, smell, and feel only lasts a short amount of time. When it hits you how stunningly angelic that baby sound asleep in your arms is – just soak it in!
*In the words of Darius Rucker “It won’t be like this for long.” I promise, middle-of-the-night feedings, long crying fests [especially for colicky babies], only napping in your arms, nursing [what feels like] nonstop around the clock, the spit up that projects perfectly to go straight down your shirt…none of it lasts forever. You will get through this! “One day that little girl is gonna be all grown up and gone. These days are gonna fly by, so just hold on. It won’t be like this for long.”
*It takes time. It takes time to wade through to a new semblance of normal. Give yourself a little grace when it comes to the routine of life. You’ll get there – give it time.
*It takes time for your hormones and emotions to settle down and get back to [more-or-less] normal. You’ll be bawling one moment and blissfully content the next. That’s ok. [Tell your husband/best friend/parent who ever to remind you of that from time to time.]
*It takes time for your body to get back to [more-or-less] normal. You grew a human being. That’s tough work. And it takes time to undo. [Tell your husband/best friend/parent who ever to remind you of this
from time to time every day if necessary.]
*Let go of the guilt. You
won’t can”t be the perfect Mom. As the difficulty of having a newborn begins to teach you this lesson, you’re likely to feel guilty over the things you think you’re falling short on. Let it go. The comments from other people that make you feel like you’re not measuring up – let it go. Which brings me to my next point…
*Remember that you are a good mom! You are the mom that God chose for this baby. And He did not make a mistake.
I feel a little like Paul here “Not that I have already attained all this, or have already been made perfect…” I definitely struggle with each of these things at different times. I’ve been blessed and encouraged by so many wonderful people through this tough transition, so I wanted to pass some of that encouragement on.
So here’s how I spend my days: