I’ve always been emotional. Crying has always come pretty easily to me. For good or bad, I don’t know; it just is what it is.
But since I became a Mom, I am such a cry baby! I cry at sappy songs; I cry at kids movies (i.e. Tangled…seriously, not even a sad movie!); I cry because I feel lonely; I cry because I’m overwhelmed with love, friendship, and family; I cry when I read a quote that touches my heart. I nearly always cry if someone else is crying, especially if they are crying over something painful in their life; and often I cry over the hurt, pain, and lostness of so many people in this world.
The question I have is….why?? Am I more aware of hurt and pain now that I’m a Mommy and want to protect my baby girl from it? I have this picture in my head of The Grinch’s heart growing three sizes….did my heart grow three sizes the first time I held that precious girl in my arms?
All of this has made me think about the Daddy heart of God. I picture Him crying each time one of His children is hurt, each time they turn away from Him, each time they must endure pain and suffering. I can just see Him holding out His arms, saying, “I’m here. I’ll walk through this with you. You don’t have to be alone. I love you.”
Sometimes I let Viola fall. Sometimes I let her cry for a little while to put herself to sleep. Sometimes I let her touch the hot tea to see that it really is hot and doesn’t feel good. It breaks my heart when she cries. Each tear is literally pains me. But I know she has to learn some lessons that way. She has to grow up. I can’t protect her from everything and sometimes by protecting her, I’m hurting her in the long run. The thing is, pain and heartache, hurt and sin — they’re all a part of this life. God doesn’t wish it for us, He doesn’t enjoy watching us go through it. But the reality is that without those things, we would never learn, we would never grow.
I like this quote from Robert Jaffray. It gives me hope and a little perspective…“One day it will all be finished, and the weary feet, all scarred, bleeding, and sore, will cross the last mountain, tread the last trail, reach the last tribe, and win the last soul. Then He Himself will exclaim, ‘Well done, good and faithful servant!’ Let us keep our eyes steadily upon the goal! Let us not look down at our feet! For when we hear the shout from the skies, all else will fade into utter insignificance. Ere long the Lord will descend from heaven with a shout. Even so, come, Lord Jesus!”
*Disclaimer* Please don’t turn me in to Child Protective Services. While I occasionally let my daughter learn things the hard way, I do not stand idle by and let her seriously injure herself. I promise, I’m not a neglectful Mom.